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Not Her, But So Her. 06/08/18 2:02am

Dom's Utopia

Not Her, But So Her. 06/08/18 2:02am

Dominique Thomas

Before her. I

Mistreated her. 

Not her. But

So her. I

Visualized her.

Before her I was ready for the right girl, I

Mistreated her innocence.

Not sure how I got so lucky.

So sweet and unrealistic. She

Visualized what I couldn’t see. I

Barely thought about how to treat her right.

Mostly thought about my future.

Never put myself in her shoes.

Such a fairytale approach, kids in love.

Virtually doomed from the start.

Breaking hearts was new to me.

Many girls laughed at the idea of dating me.

No one looked at me like you did. But

Stubbornness kept us together.

Voicing my truth scared me half to death.

Because I didn’t want to be single anymore.

My choices were selfish and self centered.

No one deserved you.

Still I wanted it to work out.

Very much so for my own well being.

Boosting my ego.

Merely using your emotions as a pick me up.

Noting all that I had done good, and

Storing what I had done bad in outer space.

Viewing myself as untouchable.

Blatantly disrespecting your time and heart.

Motivating the stereotype that man aredogs.

Nuggets of truth, clouded with games.

Should’ve just taken time for me.

Victoriously fell on my own sword,

But what I won was the truth.

Miserable,

Negative,

Sorry,

Victim. And I deserved it.

Because you were perfect.

Made my life easier.

Never backed down.

Shook my world up. I

Vowed to myself you were the one.

But that wasn’t the case.

My inter coward stalled your life.

Numb,

Short,

Vanished feelings.

Bet you never thought I would be this cruel.

Multiple nights of tears.

No one but me,

Switching sides over night and

Ventured across the country.

Because before her. I

Mistreated her. 

Not her. But

So her. I

Visualized her.

 

And lost it all.